it was a square house. divided into four rooms (2x2). but for some reason i could overlook the entire room as if the roof of the house did not exist. there was a lot of people, the ones i could recognize being my family and my high school classmate. from the beginning i could tell we were separated accordingly, not just in rooms but in some classification. what classification? i don't know. but my dad and brother were in the front left room while my mom and i were in the back right room. the other two rooms were filled with random people. then i saw these "soldiers" walk into one of the rooms. they were there to chill around, laughing at each other enjoying themselves. but not everyone else. they looked serious. they didn't even look scared. it was an expression beyond fear, as if they had already accepted what was going to happen to them. if anything i was the one in panic. i had no idea what was going on and even if i turned to my mom for support, she would not even look at me in the eyes. everyone looked like zombies, speechless and their eyes focused on one point. i looked over to where my dad and brother were and they looked the same.
all of a sudden, i see my classmate running across the room, coming towards me with a huge heavy crystal vase. inside it was filled with clear liquid. it wasn't until he poured it all over me that i realized it was gasoline. i swore my heart out and yelled at him "what the fuck do you think you're doing!?" but he just stared back at me with the saddest eyes. as if he had no other choice but to do that. he gave me a heartfelt hug, even a kiss and ran off to fulfill his duty to the rest of the people. and none of them even raised their voice. i could only picture the soldiers laughing at us getting drenched in the puddle of gasoline.
i hid in the most corner possible at the back of the room, recoiled in panic and fear. how do i get myself out of this, i thought. i was instantly jealous of the soldiers. we were like martyrs, standing up for something - i didn't know what. but whatever it was, i wanted to quit. i didn't care if i was forever labeled as a hypocrite. i wanted to surrender, wave the white flag. but i couldn't. in my dream i was so convinced that if i chose to be on the soldier's side, it meant that i betrayed my mom completely. she was right next to me and though she never looked at me in the eyes, never gave me a word of comfort, i couldn't betray her.
then the moment of truth came. the sparkle of fire followed the traces of gasoline ever so carefully, slowly but surely expanding towards the people in the front two rooms where my dad and brother were. i couldn't believe it was happening, that i was going to watch them die in agony while i waited for the fire to reach me at any moment. i could see the people buried in flames, these people who didn't make a hint of sound were suddenly roaring in excruciating pain. my heart literally stopped. but time didn't. and as seconds passed and the flames drew closer, i shut my eyes ever so tightly thinking to myself, wow this is how i'm going to die.
and then i woke up.
never was i so relieved, never was i in so much fear and never have i remembered a dream so clearly.
